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the Holiday bawl
I bawled on Christmas Eve day. It was a hearty, completely-losing-it weepfest. It felt pretty good to cry as I fought to finish the handmade cherry pie. As my daughter didn’t take her afternoon nap. Oh yes, woe! I was wallowing in woes. Most of my own making.
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Four and One
I crawl into the last month of 2011. My back’s out. I’m all tweaked. Many things are going beautifully and just as they should. But I’m uneasy. Perhaps it’s the month that’s dragging me down. F’ing December.
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A Dream
I’m trying to get to the east bay. In run-down SF I borrow my mom’s old white Honda. I find it in a parking lot parked behind another car. I have to explain to the parking attendant that I didn’t know we couldn’t park there. (Those spaces reserved for someone else.) I promise that next…
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Returning to work
The return to work was rough, mostly because it coincided with my husband being out of town for like, two months. Sure, he was back for a week here and a few days there, but it was intense. With a five-month old and a three-year old, plus a half-assed plan for childcare, it really sucked.…
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Mommy, Get Your Gun
It was bound to be bad. The gun in the trunk. The toy gun I mean. That Star Wars-branded, two-foot-long bastard of a “blaster.” Unopened, it remained in its disintegrating Target bag since Christmas. It was a moral issue, a parenting issue, a marital issue…and just a hunk of molded plastic. But by leaving it there,…
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Embracing the Damn Pants
Happiness, not slenderness, is the elusive elixir everyone’s looking for.
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This Time
My task now is to follow Story’s lead: to embody the belief that it will all turn out. It’s much easier said than done. I feel the familiar anxiety when I consider going back to work, and how much time I have left before then. How can we do it? What about the next time…